I’ve been to Miami more times than I can remember. As a textbook New Yorker, it’s always been that winter or early spring escape from the cold. And every time I’ve visited, I’ve stayed in South Beach. It’s “easy”…walkable to all sorts of things, has beach-front access, and isn’t far from the airport. But now, I’m an older, judgier, less patient version of myself and I wondered if I had outgrown this neighborhood and it’s oft cheesy hotels and clientele. I was about to find out.
As a perfect comparison, the time before this trip, I had stayed at the Shelborne Hotel for a bargain-basement, 45%-off rate that Tablet Hotels was offering. Crazy cheap. In fact, it was so good I had to call and confirm it wasn’t a major mistake on their part or mine. (Pool construction? Furry convention? Toddler pageant HQ?) Nope. I was told they had just negotiated a good deal for my travel dates.
You always know a hotel is never as good as the published pictures. So, as anticipated, the lobby and pool were passable—but that’s where the good stuff ended. In a word, the hotel was tired. DJs blasted cheesy dance tunes outside, the rooms felt “thin”…brittle doors, gaudy interiors, extra springy beds, and in the evenings they turned their only lounge into a piano bar/cabaret. (Not my cup of tea in the slightest…although, to be terribly honest, after a few wines and realizing that their cocktail waitress was also the songstress who sang while she made drinks, I found it all quite amusing. But, come on, wine(s) had been consumed by that time!)
After that trip, I was ready to give up on South Beach as a whole. Maybe I had become too much of a snoot or a stuffy curmudgeon. But, in a fit of typical spontaneity, I decided to give it one more try and to trust the discerning folks at Mr. & Mrs. Smith, another boutique hotel portal, to steer the way this time. There are only a small handful of Miami properties that they even deem passable on their site, so I was hopeful but still skeptical (and not just because this was South Beach).
Side story, in 2018, I had booked only my second ever hotel via Mr. & Mrs. Smith—this time, The Zetter, in Clerkenwell, London. To put it bluntly, the room I had there was more gulag than glam. Brown walls, brown shag carpeting, brown metal door, and brown metal shutters (which were the only window covering to be found). Hurricane shelter chic just to change or sleep with any privacy. I couldn’t help but wonder how this property passed their muster.
Anyway, months later, in a stroke of luck, I was asked if I’d be willing to do a quick survey for Smith Hotels and as a thank you they’d offer me a travel credit. With pleasure! Even more fortuitous, it turned out the phone interview I was having was with none other than the site’s co-founder, Tamara Lohan. I got the sense Mr. & Mrs. Smith weren’t seeing the traffic to their site like they used to, so I was glad to give my feedback on The Zetter (especially to the head honcho) and even more joyful that I now had $150 to spend in my loyalty account.
Back to Miami…I noticed Smith Hotels had The Nautilus by Arlo listed as an option. This just so happened to be the property right next door to the Shelborne (where I had previously stayed) and I remembered coveting the hotel’s smart navy blue striped theme and crisper looking amenities. It was being offered at 20% off at the time and better yet, because I hedged for a few days, Smith followed up and sent me a code good for $50 off any stay booked through their portal, provided I booked by the end of the month. Sold. $200 off with all my promo codes. The Nautilus it was.
What a difference. And makes sense I guess. I discovered this hotel was renovated head-to-toe back in 2015 and in 2019 it was acquired by the Arlo group of hotels (with only two other properties—both in New York). The words crisp, clean, classy, and fresh came to mind. Pretty much the opposite of any hotel I’ve stayed at in South Beach.
Because I’m a sucker for luxury, when the hotel emailed me a couple days before my check-in and offered an upgrade to an oceanfront room for $50/day+tax, I couldn’t say no. All in the name of “self-care” I told myself. Hoo boy, did I ever spoil myself this time. When I arrived around noon, I was told I would be in an oceanfront *balcony* room (even swisher than expected), that breakfast was included (huge surprise), and that Mr. and Mrs. Smith bookings also included two free drink cards to use on the property. (This, mind you, was in addition to the free bottle of sparkling that comes standard with a Nautilus booking on Smith Hotels.) Winning!
Check in wasn’t officially until 4pm, so I got changed in the lobby loo, enjoyed a fantastic lunch, and spent some time relaxing by the pool while I waited. Divine.
At 3:45 I got the call that my room was ready and what a treat to see when I opened the door.
For the next two nights, this would be my private oasis. Modern vibe, stellar service, excellent views, and for once, decent pool-side music (read: Air, Röyksopp, Poom, and Little Dragon, to name a few).
So happy to say I now have a new home in Miami. I’ll be back and you should come, too! Behold…
More things to know…
- The pool is saltwater and apparently has music piped in under water (but I never tested this out). The hotel also offers a free SPF 30 dispenser (if you accidentally forget yours or need a top off) and ice water stations.
- Bring bug spray or wipes if mosquitos fancy you. They are here year round and want to feeeeeed.
- 18% gratuity is added to all checks, so no need to tip unless you’re feeling generous.
- On peak days, get to the pool early (as in by 8:30/9am latest) as chairs can also be “reserved” by suckers who choose to pay for such nonsense.
- The hotel has a small but fancy gym: 3 treadmills, 3 ellipticals, 2 Peloton bikes, 1 Mirror fitness trainer, free weights, bosu balls, a water cooler, and cool towels rolled up in a mini fridge for post workout refreshment.
- Your resort fee also includes two chairs at the beach and an umbrella if you wish, plus free access to hotel bikes for a zip down the boardwalk or into town.
- If breakies is included in your rate, you’ll get access to the modest but satisfying buffet (standard fare: toast stations, fresh fruit and yogurt, bagel trimmings, an egg station, plus breakfast standards like homefries, bacon, and sausage).
- Spa services are offered, but there is only one treatment room (off of the gym on the 2nd floor), and apparently treatments can also be taken in one’s room or outside in the rentable pool cabanas.
- If you plan to give the hotel a whirl, definitely become a free member of Smith Hotels so you can take advantage of their standard (and also free) “Smith Extras” (which at the time of writing this was a complimentary bottle of sparkling wine). Also make a point to compare prices on Tablet Hotels, since both sites offer price matching and perks if you’re a member.
- If your budget allows and are only visiting for a short time, splurge for an oceanfront upgrade. You didn’t travel all this way to look at the street. You want to melt away while staring at swaying palms, waves, and passing ships, non? (Also important: If you book the Nautilus, they normally send an email a few days before arrival with often cheaper deals on otherwise pricier room upgrades. So, go ahead and book that city view King and upgrade via the hotel directly later, if available).
- Hungry? Catty-corner to the Nautilus is Cleo, a ridiculously tasty middle eastern restaurant. (Get the lamb shawarma and thank me later.) Next door at the Shore Club, there’s decent Mexican fare at Diez y Seis. And for a splurge dinner, three blocks down Collins Ave. at the SLS hotel is The Bazaar, a José Andrés restaurant with inventive and traditional tapas that’s incredibly good.
- Lastly, and as far as I’m concerned, almost most importantly, just behind their pool bar, the Nautilus has two hammocks and pod-like lounge chairs in a relaxing, little astroturfed enclave. I repeat: HAMMOCKS. Enough said.
Let the decompressing begin!